Teyla's Tears
by mysterywriter012
Summary: They kept telling her that it wasn't her fault, but she refused to listen to them. She just wanted to hear his voice...


"_**Teyla! Get out of here!"**_

"_**No! John I'm not going to leave you here!"**_

"_**I said get out! Find Ronon and Rodney and meet Major Lorne's team at the puddle jumper!"**_

"_**John…"**_

"_**That's an order, Teyla!"**_

**Teyla sat next to the gurney in the infirmary that held the brutally injured Lt. Colonel John Sheppard. He was near death when they had gone back to get him. **

**The team had joined Major Lorne and his team on an off-world mission. There had apparently been a group who was interested in doing a trade with them. They had some new form of a weapon that they thought the Atlantian's would be interested in looking at, and they were right.**

**But while they were in the cave, testing the various weapons there had been an explosion. The cause of the explosion wasn't exactly pinpointed, but it was pretty obvious that something had gone terribly wrong in another chamber with the weapons.**

**Colonel Sheppard had ordered that the rest of his team get out first, he wanted to save everyone else that was inside. He wanted to save the children that were screaming out for help as the walls collapsed all around them. He always did want to save anyone he could…even if it risked his life…**

**Teyla had insisted on helping him, she did not want to leave him alone in the mess. If only he understood that they could help more people working together.**

"_**John, let me help you!"**_

"_**It's too dangerous! Get yourself out of here, now!"**_

"_**John…if the two of us-"**_

"_**No! You have a son back on Atlantis that needs you. I'm not letting you stay behind and risk your life! He needs you!"**_

**Teyla knew deep down that John was right, Torran did need a mother… but she needed John.**

**She felt a single hot tear slide down her cheek as she looked at his face. His lower lip was bruised, and he had dust and dirt all over his face from the debris. Ronon had been the one to find him buried underneath several large rocks. John had a few broken ribs, a broken arm, and a fractured skull. He also was bleeding internally.**

**Dr. Keller had told everyone that Colonel Sheppard was even lucky to be alive at all. **

**Teyla reached out and gently rested her hand ontop of his. She bit her lower lip as she continued to look at him.**

"**I'm sorry, John…" **

**She heard the doors open behind her, and she could tell by the loud stomps that approached her that it was Ronon.**

"**Teyla, what are you doing here?" Ronon asked, taking his place at her side.**

**At first Teyla didn't answer, but instead she lowered her gaze slightly so her eyes rested on the center of John's chest.**

**Ronon shifted awkwardly. "Its not your fault Teyla…there was nothing you could have done," Ronon stated.**

"**Yes…yes there was. I could have stayed with him," Teyla replied, softly.**

"**He told you to get out…." Ronon answered.**

"**I should not have done so," Teyla said, her eyes moving so they were on John's face again. She knew Ronon was right, there was nothing she could have done. She knew that there was a very strong chance that John would not survive.**

**But she would not believe it. She would keep telling herself that he was going to be okay.**

**Ronon sighed, and looked down at the ground. He shifted awkwardly again before folding his arms across his chest.**

"**Teyla…" Ronon began.**

"**Don't!" Teyla cut him off, slightly sharper than she had intended. She closed her eyes, and tilted her head downwards towards the floor.**

"**Don't…" she repeated, this time in a soft whisper. **

**Ronon tilted his head slightly, before letting out a small sigh.**

"**We're all in the Mess Hall if you…if you want to talk or…" Ronon paused. He was never really that good at conversations like these. He dealt with pain, suffering and loss a lot differently than most people on the base.**

**He always new that Colonel Sheppard and Teyla had something deeper than a friendship. He always knew that they would always hold in their feelings for many reasons. One of them being the fact that it could seriously distract them from their work.**

**Ronon was about to speak up again, but something made him feel like he shouldn't. He nodded stiffly and patted Teyla's shoulder, before walking out of the infirmary.**

**Teyla gasped slightly, and she felt even more hot tears. This time, they were pouring down her face. Well, not literally pouring but it was pretty close.**

**She stood up, bringing her face closer to his.**

"**Colonel, you will make it through this. You are a strong man…stronger than you know. I can feel it in you…" Teyla said, her throat starting to swell up from all the tears.**

**She sniffled. "John…"**

**She slowly lifted her body so that she began to rest on the gurney, her eyes never leaving his face. Once her body was fully on the bed, she lightly pressed her body close to his. She slowly and gently rested a hand on the center of his chest.**

**When there was no reaction what-so-ever, she lowered her head so that her face was nuzzling his neck, her chin on his shoulder. She closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of the warmth of their bodies colliding.**

"**John…don't leave me…" She whispered, into his ear.**

**She bit her lip again, and squeezed her eyes shut tight. She felt her shoulders start to shake, as she began to sob again. She couldn't deal with the thought of losing John, she didn't even want the thought to cross her mind. She refused to let it.**

**She continued to lay next to him, spending whatever time she could with the man she loved, but never got to tell him….**

……………**..**

**She had been laying there for three hours, but the time did not bother her in the least. She didn't care if she was there all night, she just wanted to be with him.**

**She heard the doors to the infirmary open, and her eyes fluttered open. She slowly sat up, and turned her gaze towards the door. She saw Dr. Keller standing there, a small comforting smile on her face.**

"**Teyla… I think you should get back to Torran. He's been crying for you. Rodney's been doing everything he can to keep him happy but… he's not succeeding very much…" Dr. Keller stated.**

**Teyla turned back to look at John, her brown eyes softening.**

"**Don't worry. I will call you first if anything happens…" Dr. Keller said, her comforting smile still on her face.**

**Teyla nodded, still looking at John. She slowly slid up and kissed his cheek.**

"**Stay strong, John. Stay strong for me…for everyone on Atlantis…" she whispered. **

**She slowly began to slide herself off the bed, turning to face Dr. Keller.**

"**Tey….la…"**

**Teyla froze in her sitting position on the bed, and locked eyes with Dr. Keller.**

"**Tey…Teyla…"**

**Teyla's quickly turned around, her hair flipping as she turned to look back at Colonel Sheppard.**

**It was then she noticed her green-blue eyes peering through his squinted gaze. It was as if keeping his eyes open were impossible.**

**Teyla let out a small laugh of joy. "John!" she whispered, excitedly. She did not want to be too loud, for fear that his head might not be able to take the noise.**

"**Teyla…" John whispered again. **

**Teyla brought her face close to his again. "What is it, John?" she asked. She couldn't help but keep her smile of relief and joy on her face.**

"**Please… don't leave….me…" he whispered.**

**Teyla felt a tear slide down her cheek again, as she let out another small laugh. But this time, it was a tear of joy and happiness.**

"**Of course not…I'll stay…" she said, taking her place next to him again on the bed. She watched as he slowly closed his eyes again, resting his head back against the pillow.**

**She nuzzled his neck again, her smile still on her face.**

**Dr. Keller smiled at the pair. "I'll let the two of you have some time alone before I let the others know…" Dr. Keller said, not needing a response as she made her way out of the door.**

"**Teyla?" John asked again, his voice slightly stronger.**

**Teyla lifted up her head slightly, so she could look at his face.**

"**It wasn't…you're…fault…" he stated.**

**Teyla smiled, before resting her head back on his shoulder. **

"**I know….John…" she said, before closing her eyes and allowing sleep to take her as she rested against the warmth of the man she loved so dearly, John Sheppard. **


End file.
